Instant Classic

There once was a lass who was oh so fair,

With lips as red as rubies,

With almond eyes and auburn hair,

And ripe cantaloupes for boobies.

I saw dat bitch up in da club

She was bendin and snappin so I hadda holla

“Yo, Ho, get dat ass ovah here,”

And I made it rain hundies of dollas

I poured Crystal on her dress to make it stick

And then she grind up and down up against my dick

The evening drew on and the lass did tire

So we withdrew and with me she journeyed home

We made love on the stone hearth of the fire

And then we slept til the sun of the morn had come.

I woke up, pins and needles running down my dick

I looked around and bitch was gone!

My T.V. was empty, she emptied my wallet slick

I had to piss, it felt like fire, son!

I had to get me a doctor, turn my head and cough

I had to find out what’s up before my junk fell off

I called for the healer to seek remedy

Hastened to his alchemy shop

He told me to relieve myself and bring it to he

And he’d fashion me a balm to make the loin-fire stop.

I ran to the john, filled the cup, and brought it back

He took it to the lab to get worked

He said, “I’ll find out what you got in a day or three,” ah

Sho’ nuff he called me up the day after that

Said, “I hope she was worth the hurt,

Homey, you got gonorrhea!”


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