True Love

One belief that I hold is the belief in true love. I believe that two people can share a bond greater than all others throughout their life. My belief in true love has existed throughout my whole life and has stayed with me even though growing up has made the world seem more cynical and harsh. I feel that true love is a feeling that never fades to comfort and remains with people for their whole existence. True love is wanting to put someone before yourself because it brings you happiness to see them happy, and knowing that you always have them to come home to. True love might not always be seen as easy but its about your willingness to go through the pain, hardships, and fights because you know you would rather get through those things with that person than be with anyone else. A quote from on of my favorite movies, The Wedding Date, I think kind of captures this idea of true love in that sense. In the movie the man states, “I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else”. I think this is what true love is about, knowing that the path isn’t always smooth but wanting to be on it for the person you’re walking it with.  There have been many experiences and people who have influenced this view. Two people who have helped me continue in the belief of true love are my parents. I have watched my parents continually grow together throughout my life and every day they never allow each other to forget how in love they are. It is not just by what they say to each other that makes me continue to believe but it is the actions they take. Each of them tries to do nice things that they know the other will like just because they want them to be happy. They have stood by each other’s sides through every hardship in life and always face trouble as a united front. My mom was sick and dying from salmonella poisoning in the hospital and my dad lived in her hospital room for the three and half weeks she was in there. He never left her side, continually gave her strength when she started to feel like she was loosing her battle, and looked to her for strength when his faith in the medicine started to waiver. My mom told me that if my dad wouldn’t have stayed with her the whole time she was in the hospital, she would have never been able to keep up the strength she did. She said my dad was like her guardian angel. She told me how she was having an allergic reaction to the medicine they gave her and how she was having these night terrors due to all the medicine and he would just lay in the hospital bed and hold her and tell her over and over again that he had her and nothing bad could happen while she was in his arms. I’ll never forget the day my dad told me that he knew he had found his perfect girl and would spend the rest of his life trying to prove to my mom that she had found the perfect man. Not that he ever had anything to prove, he just felt that he was so fortunate he had found her, that he wanted her to be reminded everyday how wonderful and amazing he thought she was.  It is their relationship that has largely kept my belief in true love alive when so much else in the world has made it seem to be non-existent.  I think about all they’ve been through and how they still love each other and it brings me tears every time because one, their relationship is so beautiful, and two, I feel so fortunate to have an example like them to look to. Other family members that I have also treat their partners in the same way as my parents so throughout my whole life there has been positive reinforcement of my belief.

There are influences that might steer people away from this idea. If they have never seen love shared between two people in the way that I have seen it, then I think some people will find the idea of being together forever with someone as too difficult or stupid. I feel that it is difficult to accept a belief in something intangible and unseen if there has never been anyone to show you that it is there. How do you convince someone to believe in the idea that happiness can be found by forever making someone else happy if they have never seen the joy shared between two people in love? People could think that it would be selfish of someone to expect their partner to do all these things for them if they have never seen that its not because partner a wants all these things but because partner b wants to give them the world. People who have grown up in single parent households or who have grown up with parents who have gotten divorced may think this idea of “forever” can seem unrealistic or non-existence. Watching your parents fall out of love with each other or watching one parent move on before the other may sway someone away from the idea of true love lasting forever. It might seem as though it could not be a good idea to dive into the kind of relationship because they watched it tear their family apart. They could also relate with the parent who was left behind and feel like they would never allow themselves to fall in love with someone because they wouldn’t want to trust them to love them back for forever and end up like their hurt parent. People in single parent households might see this idea of true love as unnecessary. It would seem silly that someone needs a partner to pick them up at their weak moments, and make them happy because they have grown up watching one parent take on both roles alone and who has done just fine by themselves. They wouldn’t see a point in having a partner in life if they watched their parent do it alone and they may even think it better to stay away from love all together if their single parent resents the one who left. I think they would also be skeptical of this idea of for better or worse mind set because clearly their other parent did not stick around for anything and they would not want to bother to try with anyone if they felt it wouldn’t matter or mean anything. Another influence away from the idea of true love could be if someone was in a violent relationship. Having yourself be forever attached to a monster seems like living through hell if your significant other is emotionally or physically abusive. I think they would see this idea of sacrificing everything for them to be stupid and worthless because no matter what they do, they will still be hurt. Being repeatedly hurt and shot down when you try and shower someone with love would seem cruel in a sense. I feel like the big thing is people must have some exposure to this idea of true love in order for it seem as though it even exist.

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3 thoughts on “True Love

  1. Amy,

    This is a great start to the assignment. You do a good job of describing some of the influences that have affected you, but you don’t do as much to imagine what it would be like to be someone else. As the assignment prompt says, you need to spend as much time on Point 3 as Point 2.

    To complete the assignment, you need to figure out what it would be like to disagree with the idea of “true love.” It isn’t enough to just imagine someone who lacks access to it. Instead, you need to imagine someone who disagrees with the whole notion; who thinks “true love” is a bad idea.

    This will be hard.

    It would help, I think, to specify more clearly what you mean by “true love.” I’ll confess to being one of those types who don’t really understand what the term is supposed to designate. You define it at the top as a “feeling,” but throughout the first half of your essay you talk about a lot of other things besides feelings — personal obligations, behaviors, “hardships” (?), etc. If true love means you have to spend your whole life proving yourself to someone, it sounds pretty terrible. — What a nightmare! Just from what you say here, it seems to me that the term “true love” is used to cover up an awful lot of pain. Perhaps if you explain in more detail what you mean by “true love,” some of the possible reasons people might be skeptical will jump out at you.

    The trick is to try to imagine why someone would disagree with your whole premise that being a couple together forever is the ideal life.

    Good luck!

    You have until 9/24 to submit your revisions, but I strongly recommend you submit them ahead of time in case further adjustments are necessary.

    M

  2. Amy,

    This is very close, but you’re still stuck thinking that you have access to something special that other people just lack. You write: “If they have never seen love shared between two people in the way that I have seen it, then I think some people will find the idea of being together forever with someone as too difficult or stupid.” This is getting close, but you need to dig a little deeper here. What life experiences have they had? What actual experiences might make someone think that another way of living might be better? And what would they think was difficult or stupid? Why might they think it was better to have relationships that “move faster”?

    By the way, I’m not sure “moving faster” is really what you mean. True love makes relationships move fast, at least at the start. In the 1950s, when young women believed in “true love,” they were married on average at the age of 19. Nineteen! The question really is: why might people think a less permanent and less deeply felt contract might be a good option?

    Try this: imagine someone who’d been trapped for years in an abusive relationship with someone they dearly loved but who hurt them physically and emotionally. Imagine they read your doe-eyed description of true love and sacrifice. What might they think?

    You have until Tuesday. Good luck!

    M

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